12 Things INFJs Want in Friendships

Welcome, dear reader! So, you've stumbled upon the elusive and fascinating personality type known as the INFJ. If you're scratching your head wondering what those four letters stand for, let me enlighten you. INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. These unique personalities are often regarded as the rare gems of the Myers-Briggs world, making up a small percentage of the population. What sets INFJs apart isn't just their rarity but their profound depth, emotional intelligence, and the uncanny ability to understand others' thoughts and feelings, sometimes even better than those people do themselves!

But here’s the catch: INFJs crave friendships that go a little deeper than the average. Casual small talk and superficial connections just won’t do for these soulful beings. Imagine an iceberg where the visible tip is what most people focus on, but the real substance lies beneath the surface. That’s what INFJ friendships are like. They yearn for friendships that dive deep, exploring the vast expanse of emotions, thoughts, and values that make up their inner world. Sounds intriguing, right?

By understanding what INFJs truly want in their friendships, you can foster connections with them that are not just satisfying but profoundly enriching. This blog post aims to shine a light on the 12 things that INFJs look for in friendships. Whether you're an INFJ seeking validation or someone who wants to understand your INFJ friend better, you're in the right place. So grab a comfy seat, perhaps a warm drink, and let's embark on this journey to uncover the elements that make INFJ friendships not just unique but beautifully deep.

12 Things INFJs Want in Friendships

1. Emotional Depth

INFJs aren’t exactly here for the chit-chat about the weather or the latest celebrity gossip. What they seek, no, crave, are deep and meaningful conversations that dive right into the core of who you are. Imagine conversations where you can unfold your dreams, fears, and the essence of your being without hesitation. That’s where INFJs thrive. It’s like they have a sixth sense for peeling back the layers of others’ personalities to uncover the raw, unfiltered truths lurking beneath.

For INFJs, emotional connectivity isn’t just a preference; it’s a necessity. They are profoundly empathetic beings who live to understand and be understood. This emotional depth allows them to form bonds that are not just friendships but soulful connections. It’s like planting roots in the rich, fertile soil of human experience – these connections grow stronger over time and withstand the storms that life throws at them.

If you’re friends with an INFJ and want to provide this emotional depth, there are a few handy tips. First, create a safe space where vulnerability is not just accepted but celebrated. Encourage them to share their inner thoughts and reciprocate with your own. Show genuine interest and listen actively. Practice patience – INFJs may take time to open up, but once they do, you’ll find yourself in a garden of rich, heartfelt conversations.

2. Authenticity

Authenticity is like a homing beacon for INFJs. It’s what draws them in and keeps them anchored in their friendships. For an INFJ, authenticity means being true to oneself and others, shedding that superficial mask we often wear out in the world. In the context of INFJs, authenticity isn't just about honesty; it’s about being genuine, without hidden agendas or pretenses. They can spot inauthenticity from a mile away, and it doesn’t sit well with them.

INFJs place immense value on honest and genuine friendships. They want friends who are real, who show up with their true selves, warts, and all. This deep sense of authenticity builds a strong and unwavering foundation for friendship, where both parties can trust that they’re getting the real deal. It’s like forming a pact that “I see you, and I accept you for who you truly are.”

So, how can you practice authenticity around an INFJ? Start by being open and honest about your feelings and intentions. Share your true thoughts without fear of judgment and encourage them to do the same. Practice integrity – let your actions match your words. When an INFJ sees that you're being authentic, they’ll reciprocate with their own openness and trust, strengthening the bond you share.

3. Loyalty and Trust

For INFJs, loyalty isn’t just a word; it’s a lifeline. They value loyalty immensely, believing that true friends stand by each other through thick and thin. This doesn’t mean that you win their loyalty overnight. It’s like nurturing a plant – it requires time, effort, and a lot of care. Once you’ve earned it, however, INFJ loyalty is unwavering and steadfast, forming an unbreakable bond of friendship.

Building trust with an INFJ means investing time in them and showing through actions that you’re dependable. Sharing experiences and engaging in trust-building activities can help solidify this bond. Whether it’s being there during challenging times or keeping their confidences, every act of loyalty adds another layer of trust. Simple gestures, like being consistently supportive and showing reliability, go a long way in earning their trust.

On the flip side, betrayal can hit an INFJ like a wrecking ball. Because they invest so much in their friendships, any betrayal of trust can be devastating. It shakes the very foundation of their belief in the relationship, making them wary and cautious. It’s crucial to handle their trust with the utmost care – once lost, it’s a hard road to regain their faith in the friendship.

4. Intellectual Stimulation

INFJs are not just emotionally deep; they also have a curious and nimble mind. They love conversations that challenge their intellect and make them think. Deep, intellectual discussions are like a playground for their mind, where they can explore ideas, debate viewpoints, and expand their horizons. Whether it’s philosophical musings, discussions about the cosmos, or analyzing literature, they relish conversations that stimulate their intellect.

Generally, INFJs are drawn to topics that delve into the meaning of life, human psychology, social justice, and sometimes even the mystical and abstract. They enjoy exploring different perspectives and can often be found lost in thought about how to make the world a better place. Conversations that tap into these areas can keep an INFJ engaged for hours on end.

If you wish to keep your conversations stimulating and engaging for an INFJ, come armed with thought-provoking questions and a readiness to dive deep. Avoid small talk and steer towards discussions that require analysis and introspection. Be open to differing viewpoints and offer your insights as well. By keeping the dialogue dynamic and intellectually rich, you create a space where an INFJ feels both challenged and appreciated.

5. Shared Values

One of the cornerstones of INFJ friendships is the presence of shared values. To them, friendships aren’t just about having fun or common interests; it’s about sharing a deeper alignment of values and beliefs. This alignment creates a strong bond where both friends feel understood and accepted at their core. Shared values act as a compass, guiding the friendship through life’s ups and downs with a sense of mutual understanding and support.

Key values important to INFJs often revolve around authenticity, empathy, justice, and personal growth. They seek friends who care about making a positive impact on the world, who value deep connections, and who are committed to honest and meaningful living. When these values align, it creates a sense of harmony and unity in the friendship, making it resilient and enduring.

Finding and nurturing friendships with similar values might require some genuine soul-searching and effort. Engage in activities and communities that resonate with your core beliefs. Be open about your values and look for the same in others. When you find someone whose values align with yours, invest in that friendship. Share experiences that reinforce these values, and cultivate a space where these shared beliefs can grow and flourish. By doing so, you’ll create a bond that’s not just friendly but truly transformative.

6. Empathy and Understanding

Hey, listen up! Empathy is like the secret ingredient to a soul-soothing INFJ friendship stew. It's that magical spice that transforms a simple connection into a nurturing bond. Why is empathy so crucial, you ask? Well, INFJs are deeply emotional and intuitive beings. They thrive on meaningful connections, and empathy is the key to unlocking those sacred doors. When you genuinely understand and share their feelings, you're not just a friend; you're a trusted confidant in their journey through life's ups and downs.

So, how do you sprinkle empathy into your dealings with an INFJ friend? Start by truly listening to their words and the emotions behind them. Picture this: Your INFJ pal has had a tough day. Instead of just nodding, you might say, “I can see that you’re really stressed. Want to tell me more about it?” This shows that you’re not only hearing them but also feeling with them. Another great example is remembering the little details they share about their lives and bringing them up later. You might recall a story they mentioned and check in on how things turned out. These acts of empathy show you care deeply about their world.

The benefits of being an empathetic friend are immense. For starters, it cultivates trust and deepens the friendship. An INFJ will feel safe and valued, knowing they can share their innermost thoughts with you. This nurtures a reciprocal bond where both parties thrive from the mutual understanding and support. Furthermore, your empathetic nature can provide immense comfort and solace to your friend during tough times, turning you into their rock and pillar of strength. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and start sprinkling empathy dust everywhere—we promise it’s worth it!

7. Personal Space and Boundaries

Alright, now let’s talk about the sacred art of respecting personal space—the unspoken grace that empowers every INFJ friendship. Respecting an INFJ’s personal space is crucial because these dear souls need moments of solitude to recharge and reflect. It might seem like a mystery why they occasionally retreat into their metaphorical cocoons, but this alone time is essential for their well-being. They come back refreshed, nurturing the friendship with renewed energy and love.

Boundaries are like the invisible fences that keep friendships healthy and thriving. They define what’s acceptable and what’s not, ensuring that both parties feel respected and secure. A healthy friendship with an INFJ, or anyone for that matter, blossoms when boundaries are understood and honored. Boundaries shape the landscape of any relationship, preventing misunderstandings and resentments from taking root. It’s all about creating a safe space for each person to be themselves.

Recognizing and respecting these boundaries can be as simple as asking your INFJ friend directly about their comfort zones. For instance, you could say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you need some quiet time now and then. Is there anything specific you’d like me to do to respect that?” And, of course, observing their reactions and body language helps a ton too. If your friend looks overwhelmed or needs some downtime, give them the space they need without taking it personally. Remember, respecting these boundaries strengthens your bond and shows your friend that you genuinely care about their happiness.

8. Active Listening

Now, let’s dive into the magical realm of active listening—where true friendship blossoms and trust takes root! Active listening is not just about hearing words but truly engaging with what’s being communicated. In the land of INFJ friendships, active listening is like the sacred ritual that elevates your bond to new heights. It’s that special gesture that says, “I’m here for you, every step of the way.”

So, how do you become a stellar active listener? Start by giving your undivided attention. Put your phone away, maintain eye contact, and nod or give verbal cues to show you’re tuned in. Reflecting back what you’ve heard is another great technique. For example, you can say, “So what I’m hearing is, you’re feeling overwhelmed by work right now. Is that correct?” This not only confirms your understanding but also shows your friend that you genuinely care about their feelings and experiences.

The positive effects of active listening on friendships are phenomenal. For one, it solidifies trust—your friend knows that you’re not just present physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. This kind of deep connection fosters a safe space where your INFJ friend feels valued and understood. Moreover, it encourages more open and honest communication, leading to a richer and more fulfilling friendship. So, let’s get those ears ready and listen like we mean it!

9. Encouragement and Support

Ah, encouragement—a key ingredient that lights up the lives of INFJs and makes them feel truly cherished. Encouragement holds monumental importance in INFJs' lives because these introspective souls often battle with self-doubt. A kind word from a friend can feel like sunlight breaking through the clouds. It’s that gentle push, that loving nudge, that sparks newfound confidence and determination within them. So, sling on your cheerleader gear and get ready to uplift your INFJ pal with all your heart.

Supportive actions can range from the simplest of gestures to grand acts of kindness. Imagine your friend is working on a challenging project. A simple, “I believe in you, and I’m sure you’ll rock this!” can go a long way. Or, if they’ve shared an interest or a new hobby, showing genuine interest, maybe even participating with them, can mean the world. Another powerful act is being there during tough times—not necessarily fixing problems but offering a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, or even a comforting silence.

Sustained encouragement has the potential to deepen friendships exponentially. When your INFJ friend sees that you’re consistently there to support and uplift them, they feel valued and loved, reinforcing the bond between you two. Encouragement fosters a supportive dynamic where both friends feel motivated and inspired by each other’s presence. So, let’s sprinkle encouragement generously and watch those friendships bloom like never before!

10. Quality Time

Oh, quality time—the love language that speaks volumes in the sacred world of INFJ friendships! Spending quality time together holds immense significance because it’s the foundation upon which deep connections are built. For an INFJ, it’s not about the quantity of time but the quality of interactions that matter. Quality time is when you truly engage, share, and create memorable moments, letting your friend know they are cherished beyond measure.

Meaningful activities can vary widely based on shared interests. You could embark on a nature hike, soaking in the tranquility and sharing deep conversations as you wander through the woods. Or perhaps indulge in a cozy movie night, picking films that spark thoughtful discussions. Even simple activities like cooking a meal together or exploring a new hobby can be profoundly bonding. The idea is to engage in activities where you both connect on a deeper level, fostering mutual joy and understanding.

The impact of undivided attention on INFJ friendships is incredibly positive. When you give your friend your full presence, it signals that they are a priority in your life. This kind of dedicated time strengthens trust and intimacy, creating a safe space where your INFJ friend feels genuinely appreciated and understood. Quality time isn’t just about being physically together; it’s about emotionally connecting and making each moment count. So, let’s gear up for some heartwarming, quality adventures—it’s the best investment you can make in your friendship!

11. Encouraging Personal Growth

Personal growth for INFJs is akin to a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis – essential, transformative, and beautiful. This journey of self-improvement allows INFJs to align with their authentic selves, becoming more attuned to their deepest values and aspirations. It's not just about acquiring new skills or knowledge; it's a soul-deep exploration that enables them to find clarity and purpose in their lives. INFJs thrive when they feel they're evolving and expanding their understanding of themselves and the world around them. They have an innate desire to become the best versions of themselves, and personal growth is the key to unlocking their full potential.

Friends play a crucial role in encouraging this growth, acting as gentle gardeners tending to the INFJ's evolving nature. They can start by creating safe spaces where INFJs feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and dreams without judgment. Engaging in meaningful conversations that challenge and inspire can spark new insights and propel an INFJ toward growth. Additionally, friends can support INFJs by sharing resources like books, podcasts, or workshops that align with their interests and contribute to their development. Celebrating milestones, however small, also reinforces a sense of accomplishment and motivates continual improvement.

The mutual benefits of personal development in friendships are profound, as each person becomes a catalyst for the other's growth. As friends encourage and support each other's journey, they can experience a stronger bond grounded in mutual respect and inspiration. Personal growth fosters empathy, resilience, and understanding, enriching the relationship and creating a dynamic partnership where both individuals flourish. By investing in each other's development, friends build a foundation of trust and admiration that can withstand the test of time, weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and personal victories.

12. Compassion and Kindness

For INFJs, compassion is the currency of human connection – invaluable and precious. They hold a deep-seated belief that understanding and empathy are key to nurturing genuine relationships. Compassion goes beyond mere sympathy, as INFJs intuitively place themselves in others' shoes, sharing in both joy and sorrow. This profound connection to others’ emotions allows INFJs to form bonds that are both authentic and meaningful. When compassion flows freely in friendships, it creates an atmosphere where INFJs feel truly seen and valued.

Everyday interactions provide countless opportunities to express kindness, and even small gestures can have a big impact. Something as simple as sending a thoughtful message or offering a helping hand can speak volumes to an INFJ. Acts of kindness such as listening intently, providing encouragement, or remembering important details about their lives reassure INFJs of their significance in your world. INFJs appreciate when friends notice their needs without requiring prompts, as this affirms the depth of the relationship and creates a sense of belonging.

Compassion acts as a glue that holds friendships together, strengthening bonds through understanding and support. When friends consistently exhibit kindness, they foster a culture of trust and openness, allowing vulnerabilities to be shared without fear. This mutual nurturing creates a resilient connection in which each person feels supported in their struggles and celebrated in their triumphs. Compassionate friendships are marked by grace and understanding, providing a safe haven where both individuals can thrive and grow together.

Conclusion

In understanding the intricate needs of INFJs in friendships, we've unraveled a tapestry of desires that are both profound and universal. From the willingness to embark on journeys of personal growth to the emphasis on compassion and kindness, INFJs crave connections that are deep and meaningful. This exploration reveals 12 core elements: authenticity, empathy, shared values, trust, understanding, support for personal growth, compassion, intellectual stimulation, deep listening, meaningful conversations, consistency, and quality time. Each aspect contributes to forming a unique and enriching bond with INFJs.

INFJs bring a rare depth to friendships, characterized by their intuitive understanding and empathetic nature. They approach relationships with sincerity, seeking to foster connections that transcend the superficial and touch the soul. Their presence offers a warmth and insight that invites others to explore the depths of their own emotions, developing a truly special and reciprocal relationship.

By incorporating these tips to meet the desires of INFJs, readers can unlock the potential for strong, enduring friendships. The result is a more profound connection where both parties can delight in shared growth and empathy, forging bonds that withstand the sands of time. Embrace these insights to nurture and cherish the INFJ friends in your life, and witness how they enhance the emotional landscape with their unique perspective and devotion.