15 Things I Quit to Restore Happiness in My Marriage

 Imagine if every day of your married life felt like a beautiful, joyful day spent at the carnival—minus the creepy clowns and overpriced cotton candy. Alas, reality often resembles a roller coaster with way too many loops and drops that leave you dizzy and holding on for dear life.

When marital bliss gets overshadowed by daily stresses and that last unresolved spat about who should take out the trash, it's time to hit the pause button and reevaluate what actions and habits might be turning your love boat into a sinking ship.

Here's the kicker: the quest for happiness in marriage isn't just about adding fresh, new habits like sprinkling fairy dust on your problems. Quite often, it's about ditching those pesky old habits that are dragging you down, like that forgotten gym membership draining your bank account (you know the one).

In this cheerful and insightful blog post, we're diving into 15 things you should quit to restore happiness in your marriage. Think of this guide as the ultimate treasure map to rediscover the joy and connection that first brought you together.

Get ready, dear reader, to embark on a journey of laughter, love, and a little bit of tough love. We’re tossing out the negative vibes and welcoming in a breath of fresh marital air.

So grab your partner (and maybe a cup of coffee), and let's dive into these wise nuggets designed to rekindle the spark, strengthen your bond, and remind you why you tied the knot in the first place. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t just for the cake!

15 Things I Quit to Restore Happiness in My Marriage

1. Quit Holding Grudges

Imagine carrying around a backpack filled with every little irritation and argument you've ever had with your spouse. Talk about a backbreaker! Holding onto past mistakes can fester into a bubbling cauldron of resentment that spills over into every interaction. It's like trying to dance gracefully with a boulder strapped to your back—a recipe for disaster.

To restore happiness, you need to lighten that load. Letting go of grudges doesn't mean forgetting what happened or ignoring issues; it’s about forgiving and finding a way forward together. Consider grudges as weeds in the garden of your marriage. If you don't pull them out, they’ll only choke the beautiful flowers that signify your love and mutual admiration.

By choosing forgiveness and understanding, you open the door to a more compassionate and patient relationship. Remember, harboring grudges steals joy from both of you and keeps you stuck in the past when you could be creating new and wonderful memories together.

2. Quit Comparing My Spouse to Others

Imagine if every time you marveled at someone else's shiny new gadget, you started resenting your perfectly good, but slightly older, device. It's the same when you compare your spouse to others! Whether it's your best friend’s partner who always remembers anniversaries or that dreamy actor from your favorite TV show, these comparisons are a fast track to marital dissatisfaction.

Constantly eyeing the greener grass next door sets up unrealistic expectations and an unfair benchmark that no real-life person can meet. Spoiler alert: that perfect spouse exists only in edited Instagram posts and scripted rom-coms. When you stop comparing your spouse to others, you begin to appreciate their unique quirks, talents, and the one-of-a-kind connection you share.

Instead of looking outward, turn your focus inward. Celebrate the qualities that made you fall in love in the first place. Cherish the little things that make your relationship special. This mindset shift is the beginning of seeing your spouse not in comparison to others, but as the incredible partner they are.

3. Quit Expecting Perfection

If you’re waiting for your spouse to morph into a flawless, superhero-like figure, you might want to grab a comfy chair—it’s going to be a long wait! Expecting perfection is like setting up your partner for a game of whack-a-mole where they can never win. Every mistake gets whacked down, leaving joy and confidence in the dust.

Let's face it, nobody's perfect. Not you, not your spouse, not even that seemingly perfect couple on social media. Embracing imperfection is the crux of a healthy, realistic relationship. Perfectionism can create an atmosphere ripe for disappointment and discouragement, whereas acceptance fosters love and resilience.

So, throw away the impossible checklist and embrace the human being you married, flaws and all. Celebrate the endearing slip-ups and the personal growth that comes from navigating life's ups and downs together. After all, it's those very imperfections that add depth and color to the beautiful tapestry of your marriage.

4. Quit Criticizing

Ever felt like your home has turned into a courtroom with you as the relentless judge? Constant criticism, even with the best intentions, can slowly chip away at your spouse’s self-esteem and transform your relationship into a battleground. It’s like wearing down a beautiful statue until it's just a pile of rubble.

While constructive criticism can lead to growth, a barrage of negativity will only create a hostile and defensive environment. It’s impossible to build a loving, trusting relationship on a foundation of continuous fault-finding. Remember, your spouse is your teammate, not an opponent in a never-ending debate.

Shift from blame to encouragement. Instead of pointing out what’s wrong, highlight what’s right and express gratitude. A little positivity goes a long way in nurturing a supportive and loving environment. By quitting constant criticism, you allow room for your spouse—and your relationship—to grow and thrive.

5. Quit Neglecting Quality Time

In the whirlwind of busy schedules, endless to-do lists, and digital distractions, it’s easy to let quality time together slip through the cracks. Before you know it, you’re like ships passing in the night, missing out on the deep connection that once seemed effortless. Quality time is the glue that holds your relationship together; neglecting it can feel like slowly drifting apart.

Prioritizing meaningful moments together doesn’t require grand gestures or elaborate plans. Sometimes, it’s the small, everyday moments that matter the most—like a quiet evening walk, cooking a meal together, or simply unwinding on the couch. These are the moments where conversations flow, laughter is shared, and bonds are strengthened.

Make a conscious effort to carve out time for each other. Set aside distractions, put your phones on silent, and truly be present. In doing so, you create a nurturing space where love can flourish, and you remind each other why you chose this journey together in the first place. Quality time is the cornerstone of a happy, lasting marriage.

6. Quit Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Let's face it—no one enjoys those tricky conversations that make the room feel like it's getting smaller by the second. But avoiding them? That's like leaving a tiny crack in the dam; eventually, it’ll burst. Tackling tough topics head-on is like flipping on the lights in a dark room. Suddenly, everything feels a little more manageable and less spooky. So, gather your courage and remember, you're in this together, and both sides of the conversation matter.

When you engage in a candid dialogue with your partner, you're building a bridge of trust and openness. It's like inviting your partner to step into a comedy improv show; who knows where it'll go, but you're in it together, and that's what counts! Open communication isn't just about sharing what's wrong, but also offering each other the reassurance that it's okay to feel and express anything.

Think of these conversations as keys to unlock the uncharted adventures of your relationship. Instead of dreading them, approach them with curiosity. Embrace the opportunity to learn and grow together. Let your partner know that while life might throw a curveball or two, your commitment to facing it as a team stands strong. At the end of the day, it's these honest exchanges that keep the bond between you as resilient as a superhero's cape.

7. Quit Taking Each Other for Granted

Ah, the sweet comfort of a love that's as snug and familiar as your favorite pair of socks. But beware! Don't let this coziness turn into complacency. Taking each other for granted can sneak in like a sneaky squirrel raiding a bird feeder—slowly and stealthily. Instead, make it your mission to sprinkle appreciation and gratitude like confetti at every opportunity.

Start by acknowledging the little things that your partner does—like how they always make you coffee just the way you like it or how they somehow remember the lyrics to every song on your '90s playlist. Show kindness with thoughtful gestures and words of affirmation. These moments of recognition and love express so much more than grand romantic gestures ever could.

Along this journey, let gratitude be the melody that sets the rhythm of your relationship. Picture your daily life as a dance, where appreciation is the choreography that keeps you in sync. By practicing this gratitude daily, you solidify a foundation rooted in love and mutual respect, which ultimately enriches not only your relationship but your lives as a whole.

8. Quit Focusing on the Negatives

Imagine if every sky was overshadowed by clouds. That's what dwelling on the negatives can feel like in a relationship—perpetually gloomy and dreary. Shift your gaze upwards, find those sunlit patches, and notice how much brighter the world looks. Focusing on the positives is like planting seeds of happiness that grow into a garden of joy.

Begin by celebrating each other's successes and good qualities. Maybe your partner just aced a project at work, or perhaps they cooked dinner without burning the garlic this time. These are victories worth toasting to! Revel in the wins, no matter how small, and watch as these moments of positivity knit your relationship tighter.

Choosing light over shadows doesn't mean ignoring issues, but rather appreciating the colorful tapestry created by your combined strengths and victories. As you celebrate each other’s uniqueness, you learn to appreciate what makes your partner and relationship extraordinary. With every positive moment you focus on, you're painting your shared journey with vibrant strokes, each more beautiful than the last.

9. Quit Ignoring Self-Care

You know what they say on airplanes about securing your own oxygen mask before helping others? Well, that wisdom holds just as true in relationships. Ignoring self-care is like trying to fill a teacup from an empty pot—it just won't work. When you prioritize your mental and physical well-being, you're actually giving a gift to your partner and relationship.

Picture self-care as your personal toolkit, brimming with everything you need to be your best self. Whether it’s taking a leisurely walk, diving into a favorite book, or indulging in a much-needed nap, these moments re-energize you. When you take care of number one (that's you!), you're more present, attentive, and supportive in your relationship—and that's the real magic.

Championing self-care doesn't mean being selfish; rather, it amplifies your capacity to love and cherish your partner. By nurturing yourself, you're setting a wonderful example and encouraging your partner to do the same. Together, you create an environment where both individuals can thrive, and isn't that what true partnership is all about?

10. Quit Keeping Score

Let's imagine a world where relationships are like a friendly game of catch, not keeping tally on who owes who. Relationships shouldn't feel like a scoreboard with points tallied for every chore done or compliment given. So, toss out that imaginary score sheet; it's time to focus on teamwork and mutual support!

Embrace the spirit of collaboration—all for one and one for all! When you act as partners working towards the same goals, the need to keep track of individual contributions diminishes. Think of your relationship as a shared garden where both of you plant seeds and tend to them. Some days, you'll pull the metaphorical weeds, and other times, your partner will water the blooms.

Detangling yourself from the "score mindset" fosters a spirit of generosity within your relationship. As you embrace a teamwork approach, celebrate collective achievements and support each other’s aspirations without the need for tit-for-tat. Over time, this nurturing of each other’s growth and happiness creates a deep, abiding sense of unity and partnership—a powerful testament to love's true essence.

11. Quit Letting Technology Invade Quality Time

Ah, the digital age! It has its perks, no doubt, but let's be honest—sometimes those tiny screens become way too big in our lives. We've all seen it: two people sitting together, phones in hand, a whole universe apart. If you’re not careful, excessive screen time can sneak in and gobble up all your precious moments, leaving a trail of emoji conversations in its wake. It's time to put those pixels in their place!

Imagine an evening filled with laughter, not just LOLs, where the glow of the setting sun, rather than a screen, lights up your loved one’s face. Establishing some tech-free times can be your secret weapon to reclaim your couple’s quality time. No more “just a minute” responses that end up being hours—it's about creating moments you’ll remember, not scroll through.

Setting boundaries on technology use isn’t about cutting out all the fun; it’s about prioritizing real-life connections. Try a tech-free dinner or dedicate one evening a week to board games, storytelling, or simply basking in each other's presence. The memes can wait—your relationship should be the star of the show, sparkling with genuine interaction.

12. Quit Bottling Up Emotions

Bottling up emotions is a bit like stuffing a closet full of stuff—you can ignore it for a while, but eventually, things are going to spill out. And trust us, you don’t want to be there when it happens. Holding in your emotions might feel safe in the moment, but it’s a pathway to outbursts and simmering resentment that can brew harmful toxins into your relationship.

Being open about your feelings doesn’t mean you have to turn every conversation into a drama channel show. Think of it as an art, perhaps a delicate dance, where you communicate your feelings openly and constructively. Instead of erupting like a volcano, you become a cool, calm, and collected breeze—refreshing and rejuvenating to be around.

By sharing how you feel, you build a bridge rather than a wall between you and your partner. It's about creating an emotional safety net, a sanctuary where both of you feel understood and validated. So, swap the silent treatment for heartfelt conversations—it's a trade worth making that paves the way for a stronger, more resilient partnership.

13. Quit Being Always Right

Ah, the sweet, intoxicating desire to always be right! But let’s face it, being right all the time isn’t necessarily the right thing for your relationship. It can blind you to the beauty of compromise and the wisdom in admitting that sometimes—just sometimes—you might be wrong. And that’s okay!

When you open your heart (and mind) to your spouse’s perspective, you invite a fresh breeze of understanding into your relationship. It’s like wandering off the battle path and stepping into a meadow where teamwork blooms into gorgeous wildflowers of compromise and kindness. Instead of each trying to outdo the other, you become teammates crafting a shared playbook for happiness.

Remember, the scoreboard doesn’t matter when you’re playing on the same team. Let go of that mythical crown of rightness and embrace the magic of learning, growing, and thriving together. A relationship isn't a debate to be won; it’s a dance that’s much more delightful when both partners are in step, twirling in harmony.

14. Quit Dwelling in the Past

The past: it's a teacher, not a jailer, so let's unshackle those ankle weights and soar into the future! Dwelling in previous mistakes or hardships can often feel like being stuck in a never-ending rerun. But remember, the script of your life isn’t set in stone—it’s an evolving narrative where the future is ripe for rewriting, together.

When you focus too much on the past, you risk missing the beauty that’s sprouting in the present and the dazzling opportunities that await in the future. Past experiences should be your steppingstones, not your stumbling blocks. Use them as lessons learned, a form of wisdom infused into the essence of your shared journey.

Instead of looking back with regret, look forward with hope. Envision the kind of future you want to build together and take hands to start crafting it. Every moment is a new chance to redefine your story—not as individuals shackled by history, but as a dynamic duo, fired up for new adventures and triumphs.

15. Quit Disrespecting Each Other

Disrespect is the unwelcome party crasher in any relationship. It sneaks in, sows chaos, and robs the room of joy. Respect is foundational, like the bedrock of a home. It reinforces the structure of love, trust, and security, making everything else possible. So, even when disagreements arise (and they do), they should be wrapped in layers of kindness and understanding.

In those heating dialogues, it's easy for emotions to flare, but remember, words have power—they should be wielded with care. Address each other with the same kindness that lured you together in the beginning. That playful banter and delightful warmth? Keep that alive, even when challenges visit your doorstep.

When respect reigns supreme, it helps to weather any storm. It ensures that no matter the conflict, both partners feel valued and appreciated. Embrace respect not as a rigid rule but as a comforting guide, one that reminds you to see the best in each other, support one another, and cherish the wonderful tapestry woven from your shared lives.

Conclusion

Hey there, lovebirds! Restoring happiness in your marriage can be an exciting journey. It's all about quitting harmful habits and welcoming positive vibes. Let's dive into how you can make this transformation.

First, let’s talk about grudges. Holding onto past grievances is like carrying a heavy suitcase full of rocks—exhausting and unnecessary! Letting go and embracing forgiveness can help you feel lighter and more connected.

Next, perfectionism. Chasing a perfect partner or relationship is as elusive as a unicorn. Celebrate the quirks and flaws that make your spouse and relationship unique. Embrace appreciation over perfection to foster a more authentic and relaxed connection.

Effective communication is key. It's the secret ingredient to a strong marriage. Commit to clear, compassionate dialogue instead of bottling up emotions or trying to read minds. This simple shift can bring you closer together.

Lastly, don't forget self-care. Prioritizing your well-being helps you bring your best self to the relationship. A happy, healthy you equals a happier, healthier marriage. Indulge in activities that rejuvenate you—you deserve it!

Restoring happiness in your marriage means letting go of grudges, leaving perfectionism behind, focusing on effective communication, and prioritizing self-care. Embrace these changes and watch your relationship blossom!